I'm just divorced for a second time at seventy, and I had become firmly ensconced in the Red Pill philosophy. There really are two sides to everything, aren't there? Thank you for pulling me back from the abyss.
I'm just divorced for a second time at seventy, and I had become firmly ensconced in the Red Pill philosophy. There really are two sides to everything, aren't there? Thank you for pulling me back from the abyss.
glad you enjoyed it and I was able to give you another perspective! Sorry to hear about your divorce, that's tough, the abyss is tough and that really sucks; not much else I can say other than offer you my sincere best wishes.
My first wife called me three Christmases ago - just out of the blue - and made small talk for a long time, leaving me wondering just exactly what was going through her mind. Clearly she wasn't saying it.
Finally, as we prepared to hang up, she took a deep breath and said, "Look, I just wanted to apologize for not being a better wife to you."
People say they are speechless; I was literally, actually, completely, gobsmacked .... speechless.
We had been divorced twenty years. Twenty. I had always blamed her for the marriage's failure (I had filed for the divorce - part of the 20% filed by men), but it seemed like I should say something nice, so I stammered out something that I apologized too, for the same reason.
But I didn't mean it; I was just being nice. Now I think I need to call her back.
**********
I obviously don't know your status, but somehow you have to get this point of view over to whomever you marry - and I have to tell you: good luck; the pickin's are pretty thin. All best to you. You made my day, my week, and a lot more.
I don't think so. She was always very analytical, living inside her own head - and still is, which explains the phone call - but unfortunately as a teenager in the early 'seventies had absorbed the just-developing tenets of Toxic Feminism and took the attitude that any demands for her to do HER part of the marital job was "oppression." I was so green that I was hesitant to ASK her to take up any slack, and to keep the peace would simply take everything on myself. Eventually, when we had kids, that didn't work, so we drifted more and more apart. I drifted into a world without her; she without me. I had a high-paying job and hired out most of child-rearing to others.
re: "If I only knew then what I know now." If we were both 24 again, with the knowledge of decades of experience behind us, we could make it work, but not now. She knows that; I know that. Not everything turns out well. That's just how it goes.
Don't be an idiot bro. Call her, she wants to hook back up with you. Just let her talk and tell her you hope she's doing well, then listen to her and let her make a move if she wants it.
You don't need to put yourself out there, just stay in contact with her. If she wants you then she will bring it up.
It doesn't matter if she wants me. I don't want her. We talk when an issue with our two adult sons comes up, and without exception after hanging up the phone I say to myself, "God, every time we interact it all comes flooding back." No, I'm good.
Would I love to have a wife? You bet. But I want one with whom I share a lifetime of memories, of kindness, of peaceful days and torrid nights, of creating life and nurturing it, of Over the River and Through the Woods memories of holidays, of children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren. But this ain't the movies; those things exist only in my head. Some doors close, and they close for good, but considering everything, it's a first-world problem. I could have been a Somali refugee or a Bangladeshi mother.
I am the happiest now I have ever been in my life - ever. Should I ever take up with another female human, which is vanishingly unlikely, I am confident, though, that it will be good.
A buddy after going through his second divorce said тАШif I ever decide to get married again I am going to do it the easy wayтАЩ. What way is that I asked. тАШI am going to find an attractive woman I really donтАЩt like and buy her a nice house. That way I save all the heartache and the legal fees.тАЩ
My cousin - whom I hold in great affection - along with every one of my married friends, have endeavored to convince me that I need to remarry. I'm nearly 71. I cannot think of a single advantage to inviting the State to take over the distribution of my assets other than locking in the sex supply (for a little while), and I can think of a handful of potential downsides. Yes, I'd like to have someone warm to sleep with, but the risk/benefit ratio of marrying at anywhere near my age in order to get it is just too high.
If I find a reasonably agreeable and considerably younger woman who wants a no-promises relationship in exchange for an occasional game of slap-and-tickle, I'm available. Otherwise, I consider it a buyer's market and I'm in no hurry. As a friend's father used to say, if sheep could cook, there wouldn't be a married man in the country. Ditto a decent sex robot. Hope they come along before I don't need one.
I divorced my first wife for cruelty. Twelve years after being divorced she pulled me aside when I was picking the kids up to being them home (I had custody) she said she wanted to talk to me privately. I thought тАШyup, she wants moneyтАЩ. She said she wanted to apologize. She said тАШall these years I thought you were the bad guy. I finally saw it correctly. You were the good guy! I was the bad one. I destroyed the marriage.тАЩ It was very moving for me. If you had asked me how I would respond to that I would have said тАШMeh. I couldnтАЩt care less what she thinks.тАЩ But it was important to hear it for me.
I'm just divorced for a second time at seventy, and I had become firmly ensconced in the Red Pill philosophy. There really are two sides to everything, aren't there? Thank you for pulling me back from the abyss.
glad you enjoyed it and I was able to give you another perspective! Sorry to hear about your divorce, that's tough, the abyss is tough and that really sucks; not much else I can say other than offer you my sincere best wishes.
My first wife called me three Christmases ago - just out of the blue - and made small talk for a long time, leaving me wondering just exactly what was going through her mind. Clearly she wasn't saying it.
Finally, as we prepared to hang up, she took a deep breath and said, "Look, I just wanted to apologize for not being a better wife to you."
People say they are speechless; I was literally, actually, completely, gobsmacked .... speechless.
We had been divorced twenty years. Twenty. I had always blamed her for the marriage's failure (I had filed for the divorce - part of the 20% filed by men), but it seemed like I should say something nice, so I stammered out something that I apologized too, for the same reason.
But I didn't mean it; I was just being nice. Now I think I need to call her back.
**********
I obviously don't know your status, but somehow you have to get this point of view over to whomever you marry - and I have to tell you: good luck; the pickin's are pretty thin. All best to you. You made my day, my week, and a lot more.
Hey bro if your ex-wife is calling you and apologizing to you, then she's trying to hook back up with you.
I don't think so. She was always very analytical, living inside her own head - and still is, which explains the phone call - but unfortunately as a teenager in the early 'seventies had absorbed the just-developing tenets of Toxic Feminism and took the attitude that any demands for her to do HER part of the marital job was "oppression." I was so green that I was hesitant to ASK her to take up any slack, and to keep the peace would simply take everything on myself. Eventually, when we had kids, that didn't work, so we drifted more and more apart. I drifted into a world without her; she without me. I had a high-paying job and hired out most of child-rearing to others.
re: "If I only knew then what I know now." If we were both 24 again, with the knowledge of decades of experience behind us, we could make it work, but not now. She knows that; I know that. Not everything turns out well. That's just how it goes.
Don't be an idiot bro. Call her, she wants to hook back up with you. Just let her talk and tell her you hope she's doing well, then listen to her and let her make a move if she wants it.
You don't need to put yourself out there, just stay in contact with her. If she wants you then she will bring it up.
It doesn't matter if she wants me. I don't want her. We talk when an issue with our two adult sons comes up, and without exception after hanging up the phone I say to myself, "God, every time we interact it all comes flooding back." No, I'm good.
Much love to you bro, just want you to be happy with your life, which it sounds like you are.
- and all best to you.
Would I love to have a wife? You bet. But I want one with whom I share a lifetime of memories, of kindness, of peaceful days and torrid nights, of creating life and nurturing it, of Over the River and Through the Woods memories of holidays, of children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren. But this ain't the movies; those things exist only in my head. Some doors close, and they close for good, but considering everything, it's a first-world problem. I could have been a Somali refugee or a Bangladeshi mother.
I am the happiest now I have ever been in my life - ever. Should I ever take up with another female human, which is vanishingly unlikely, I am confident, though, that it will be good.
Thanks for this; it is moving, beautifully written, and remarkable in how fully yet succinctly it captures what most of us yearn for.
A buddy after going through his second divorce said тАШif I ever decide to get married again I am going to do it the easy wayтАЩ. What way is that I asked. тАШI am going to find an attractive woman I really donтАЩt like and buy her a nice house. That way I save all the heartache and the legal fees.тАЩ
I'd always heard that attributed to Rod Stewart.
My cousin - whom I hold in great affection - along with every one of my married friends, have endeavored to convince me that I need to remarry. I'm nearly 71. I cannot think of a single advantage to inviting the State to take over the distribution of my assets other than locking in the sex supply (for a little while), and I can think of a handful of potential downsides. Yes, I'd like to have someone warm to sleep with, but the risk/benefit ratio of marrying at anywhere near my age in order to get it is just too high.
If I find a reasonably agreeable and considerably younger woman who wants a no-promises relationship in exchange for an occasional game of slap-and-tickle, I'm available. Otherwise, I consider it a buyer's market and I'm in no hurry. As a friend's father used to say, if sheep could cook, there wouldn't be a married man in the country. Ditto a decent sex robot. Hope they come along before I don't need one.
YouтАЩre a shallow idiot lol
I divorced my first wife for cruelty. Twelve years after being divorced she pulled me aside when I was picking the kids up to being them home (I had custody) she said she wanted to talk to me privately. I thought тАШyup, she wants moneyтАЩ. She said she wanted to apologize. She said тАШall these years I thought you were the bad guy. I finally saw it correctly. You were the good guy! I was the bad one. I destroyed the marriage.тАЩ It was very moving for me. If you had asked me how I would respond to that I would have said тАШMeh. I couldnтАЩt care less what she thinks.тАЩ But it was important to hear it for me.