I don't think so. She was always very analytical, living inside her own head - and still is, which explains the phone call - but unfortunately as a teenager in the early 'seventies had absorbed the just-developing tenets of Toxic Feminism and took the attitude that any demands for her to do HER part of the marital job was "oppression." I…
I don't think so. She was always very analytical, living inside her own head - and still is, which explains the phone call - but unfortunately as a teenager in the early 'seventies had absorbed the just-developing tenets of Toxic Feminism and took the attitude that any demands for her to do HER part of the marital job was "oppression." I was so green that I was hesitant to ASK her to take up any slack, and to keep the peace would simply take everything on myself. Eventually, when we had kids, that didn't work, so we drifted more and more apart. I drifted into a world without her; she without me. I had a high-paying job and hired out most of child-rearing to others.
re: "If I only knew then what I know now." If we were both 24 again, with the knowledge of decades of experience behind us, we could make it work, but not now. She knows that; I know that. Not everything turns out well. That's just how it goes.
Don't be an idiot bro. Call her, she wants to hook back up with you. Just let her talk and tell her you hope she's doing well, then listen to her and let her make a move if she wants it.
You don't need to put yourself out there, just stay in contact with her. If she wants you then she will bring it up.
It doesn't matter if she wants me. I don't want her. We talk when an issue with our two adult sons comes up, and without exception after hanging up the phone I say to myself, "God, every time we interact it all comes flooding back." No, I'm good.
Would I love to have a wife? You bet. But I want one with whom I share a lifetime of memories, of kindness, of peaceful days and torrid nights, of creating life and nurturing it, of Over the River and Through the Woods memories of holidays, of children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren. But this ain't the movies; those things exist only in my head. Some doors close, and they close for good, but considering everything, it's a first-world problem. I could have been a Somali refugee or a Bangladeshi mother.
I am the happiest now I have ever been in my life - ever. Should I ever take up with another female human, which is vanishingly unlikely, I am confident, though, that it will be good.
A buddy after going through his second divorce said ‘if I ever decide to get married again I am going to do it the easy way’. What way is that I asked. ‘I am going to find an attractive woman I really don’t like and buy her a nice house. That way I save all the heartache and the legal fees.’
My cousin - whom I hold in great affection - along with every one of my married friends, have endeavored to convince me that I need to remarry. I'm nearly 71. I cannot think of a single advantage to inviting the State to take over the distribution of my assets other than locking in the sex supply (for a little while), and I can think of a handful of potential downsides. Yes, I'd like to have someone warm to sleep with, but the risk/benefit ratio of marrying at anywhere near my age in order to get it is just too high.
If I find a reasonably agreeable and considerably younger woman who wants a no-promises relationship in exchange for an occasional game of slap-and-tickle, I'm available. Otherwise, I consider it a buyer's market and I'm in no hurry. As a friend's father used to say, if sheep could cook, there wouldn't be a married man in the country. Ditto a decent sex robot. Hope they come along before I don't need one.
I have an alternative health practice. Along with being a real estate developer. I work on mental aspects of diseases. Most diseases have some mental components. As such I get very deeply into things with my clients. Most of my clients are women. If the average guy knew what the average woman really thinks and believes, I don’t think any guy would get married. Very few, at any rate. Our view of women is a delusion. Deep inside they are mostly pretty hard. Harder than men. Guys are harder on the outside and softer inside. Women are the opposite. Very Jungian.
I believe that the greatest, longest-running, and most damaging delusion of mankind has been "sugar and spice and everything nice." Maintaining it for millennia has been possible because men did not have a mass forum in which to compare notes. Not so now - and they are pissed and they are doing something about it. The current "thing" is for Western women to tell men that they "need to up their game." Right back at 'cha, Babe. But do it or not, we don't really care. We're looking elsewhere. Enjoy your cats.
When I started my career, I used a young accountant about my age. She and I started work nearly the same time, worked together on my finances for over forty years and retired nearly the same time. THAT is whom I should have married, but she was married when we met and stayed so until Tamoxifen gave her uterine cancer and killed her. Never, ever, through thick and thin, did she ever show the slightest indication of not being entirely on my side. In every thing. In every endeavor. In two divorces. Quiet, thoughtful, diplomatic, always stayed in good physical shape. Soft voice and lightning ability. A real professional and a real friend.
I don't think so. She was always very analytical, living inside her own head - and still is, which explains the phone call - but unfortunately as a teenager in the early 'seventies had absorbed the just-developing tenets of Toxic Feminism and took the attitude that any demands for her to do HER part of the marital job was "oppression." I was so green that I was hesitant to ASK her to take up any slack, and to keep the peace would simply take everything on myself. Eventually, when we had kids, that didn't work, so we drifted more and more apart. I drifted into a world without her; she without me. I had a high-paying job and hired out most of child-rearing to others.
re: "If I only knew then what I know now." If we were both 24 again, with the knowledge of decades of experience behind us, we could make it work, but not now. She knows that; I know that. Not everything turns out well. That's just how it goes.
Don't be an idiot bro. Call her, she wants to hook back up with you. Just let her talk and tell her you hope she's doing well, then listen to her and let her make a move if she wants it.
You don't need to put yourself out there, just stay in contact with her. If she wants you then she will bring it up.
It doesn't matter if she wants me. I don't want her. We talk when an issue with our two adult sons comes up, and without exception after hanging up the phone I say to myself, "God, every time we interact it all comes flooding back." No, I'm good.
Much love to you bro, just want you to be happy with your life, which it sounds like you are.
- and all best to you.
Would I love to have a wife? You bet. But I want one with whom I share a lifetime of memories, of kindness, of peaceful days and torrid nights, of creating life and nurturing it, of Over the River and Through the Woods memories of holidays, of children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren. But this ain't the movies; those things exist only in my head. Some doors close, and they close for good, but considering everything, it's a first-world problem. I could have been a Somali refugee or a Bangladeshi mother.
I am the happiest now I have ever been in my life - ever. Should I ever take up with another female human, which is vanishingly unlikely, I am confident, though, that it will be good.
Thanks for this; it is moving, beautifully written, and remarkable in how fully yet succinctly it captures what most of us yearn for.
A buddy after going through his second divorce said ‘if I ever decide to get married again I am going to do it the easy way’. What way is that I asked. ‘I am going to find an attractive woman I really don’t like and buy her a nice house. That way I save all the heartache and the legal fees.’
I'd always heard that attributed to Rod Stewart.
My cousin - whom I hold in great affection - along with every one of my married friends, have endeavored to convince me that I need to remarry. I'm nearly 71. I cannot think of a single advantage to inviting the State to take over the distribution of my assets other than locking in the sex supply (for a little while), and I can think of a handful of potential downsides. Yes, I'd like to have someone warm to sleep with, but the risk/benefit ratio of marrying at anywhere near my age in order to get it is just too high.
If I find a reasonably agreeable and considerably younger woman who wants a no-promises relationship in exchange for an occasional game of slap-and-tickle, I'm available. Otherwise, I consider it a buyer's market and I'm in no hurry. As a friend's father used to say, if sheep could cook, there wouldn't be a married man in the country. Ditto a decent sex robot. Hope they come along before I don't need one.
I have an alternative health practice. Along with being a real estate developer. I work on mental aspects of diseases. Most diseases have some mental components. As such I get very deeply into things with my clients. Most of my clients are women. If the average guy knew what the average woman really thinks and believes, I don’t think any guy would get married. Very few, at any rate. Our view of women is a delusion. Deep inside they are mostly pretty hard. Harder than men. Guys are harder on the outside and softer inside. Women are the opposite. Very Jungian.
I believe that the greatest, longest-running, and most damaging delusion of mankind has been "sugar and spice and everything nice." Maintaining it for millennia has been possible because men did not have a mass forum in which to compare notes. Not so now - and they are pissed and they are doing something about it. The current "thing" is for Western women to tell men that they "need to up their game." Right back at 'cha, Babe. But do it or not, we don't really care. We're looking elsewhere. Enjoy your cats.
When I started my career, I used a young accountant about my age. She and I started work nearly the same time, worked together on my finances for over forty years and retired nearly the same time. THAT is whom I should have married, but she was married when we met and stayed so until Tamoxifen gave her uterine cancer and killed her. Never, ever, through thick and thin, did she ever show the slightest indication of not being entirely on my side. In every thing. In every endeavor. In two divorces. Quiet, thoughtful, diplomatic, always stayed in good physical shape. Soft voice and lightning ability. A real professional and a real friend.
God bless you, Sandy, wherever you are.
You’re a shallow idiot lol